Wrangle up hoss

No, I am not loopy for cocoa puffs.  Find a great big mayo eating large man, and you wrap a lasso around that mothersuker and you nail him to the ground.  Take all his gold, and bury him in a large river.  Wait for days. Come back and cast a magic spell so that you never have to do that again!
It’s time to hook up all these big galoots to the great big satellite.  Microchip, ladies and gentlemen.  Microchip.
 

Smile on your brother

Let’s straighten all of this hullaballoo up.  Pack up the cameras, turn off the lights, get the show out of here.  We’re working with the written word, and the written word, baby.  Words can express logical relationships as well as feelings.
I don’t want to live on a great big trash heap in the sky.

Smith, Mr. John Smith

It’s always been this great, big, long road.  Something, or someway or another, who we were and who we are now is some long narrative.
It’s a long story.  Maybe kids are supposed to ask their grandparents this.  Why are you the way you are, Papa?  Let me tell you, it all began about the turn of the century ago when I was just a wee little lad, and I was on my way to the candy shop with a pocket full of pennies when…
I like how in this story, the grandfather seems like he’s five, but he’s casually strolling down what is assumed some sidewalk and his coins are jingle-jangling on the way.  I’ve never seen a five year old casually stroll, but these were the days back then I guess.

No doubt

Listen to me:  The world is strange.  I’m 35 and a half years old and I know this.  I see it all around me.  When I was a teenager?  The world made perfect sense!  Everything fit, was in it’s place and was as it should be.  What does that tell you?
TEENAGERS ARE PSYCHO
This blog post was brought to you by the past, inc.  All of your prior experiences have banded together and applied for legal immunity and some possible investment capital and we all just really wanted you to know that we’re still here and we still care.
The End.

Devoid

Look, I understand what you are saying.  These words look good, sound good, they smell good, Mr. Bingham, but they are devoid of all truth.
Hardly, I say, in my defense.
They are nonsense words, you say.  They only seem as if they are true.
Well, we’ll let God be the judge of that, hometicket, I say to those two figurative fellows.

I’d say though

Look.  I write words all the time.  I like it, it’s what I enjoy doing.  Throw them up, down, all around, the Merry-Go-Round of the modern verbal platform, skidoo.
Vocabulary has changed over time.  @Roflslice is a real word in the dictionary now.  Kids grow up with programmable *brains*.  Don’t give me any of this horseshit that this future is not real.  It’s crazy!  Technology is mindblowing!  Today’s modern times blow our science fiction books from the last twenty years into smithereens!  It’s like reality fired a great big catapult into our hopes and dreams, ladies and gentlemen.
You can’t help it, I can’t help it, the whole world is stuck like that, forever rocked by the echoes of time.  Congratulations, they say.  Let us in, they say, it’s cold.
Yeah, go figure.  They come looking for bread, they find warmth and a glass of wine, too.  That’s called the hospitality, my egos.  That is the divine providence.  The universe is in entropy, too.  Oh, don’t ask me how.

Subjugate the Massless

What a cornfield.  That’s what the old gunslinger cattle boys of the Ole Timey West must’ve said to one another.  Wow, what a great carrot you got there, Pilgrim, the farmers would say.  They *farmed* in my eyes.  The Aztecs painted, the Romans… well, when in Rome.
Regardless of all of this hullabaloo and fritter fry, let’s talk turkey, mates.  A fact is a fact and a deal is a deal.  Finito.  End.
Fire up the Mesopotamian monoliths, bros.  Sink deeper and deeper into that lovely sound in the back of your head which only has three words for you.

31 flavor

Death is a theme in Michael’s Ivy.  The choices in life and death are a yoke to a man.  A cool glass of water in an otherwise parched land, or the signal fires of another shore for the man who once had it all.

There are other themes.  It’s not like you are supposed to just sit here with me and let’s have a spooky old time of it.  No, no.  Let’s go to outer space where death isn’t real.  The year is 30,000 AD but everyone’s stopped counting by now.  We’re just beings of pure light, dance with us.